Lounge Cocktail: Glogg
Cocktail adapted from razzledazzlerecipes.com

A traditional Swedish cocktail is served around the holidays. A treat to say the least.

• 1 bottle of cheap sweet red wine
• 1 bottle of bourbon
• 1 bottle of cheap dry sherry, whoo hoo!!
• 4 cinnamon sticks
• 2 T. cardamom seeds
• 1 T. whole cloves
• 1 cup sugar
• 10 prunes
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 1/2 cup almonds

Place all ingredients in a pot on the stove and gently stir. Heat until just before boiling. DO NOT BOIL.

Turn off and cover. Let stand for 24 hours.

Strain and pour back into bottles.

To serve: Heat in a coffee cup, but do NOT boil.

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Sports Facts :

Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee's World Series Game 6; sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them.

One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and says something to Bill. First Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head violently.

The agent then said, "Mr. President, it was an unanimous request from the owner of the team down to the bat boy." What really gets Bill going is when the agent tells him the fans would love it! So Bill just shrugs his shoulders and says, "If that is what the people want."

Then Bill gets up, grabs Hillary by her collar and the seat of her pants, and drops her right over the wall into the field. She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming, and the crowd goes wild. They're cheering, applauding, and high-fiving. Bill is bowing and smiling, and leans over to the agent and says, "You were right, I would have never believed that!"

Then noticing the agent has gone totally pale, he asks what is wrong. The agent replies, "Sir, I said, they want you to throw out the FIRST PITCH!"

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Language Of A New Millennium

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?

Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. Personal Favorite.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass hole at the same time.

Lounging at the movies: Jersey Girl, The Sponge Bob Square Pants Movie

Jersey Girl: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Liv Tylor, Raquel Castro, George Carlin and others.

High powered executive publicist has everything, a great girlfriend, a great job, a great apartment and a baby on the way. The world is his oyster and he has a large bottle of Tabasco. Then reality strikes and priorities change in an instant, although it takes a couple of months to sink in. A story of making lemonade out of lemons and realizing how much you like the lemon aid. Everyone is excellent in this touching movie.

Trivia: Jennifer Lopez was removed from the trailers so people would not mistake it for Gigli. Sorry for the flash back.

The Sponge Bob Square Pants Movie:

I like Sponge Bob Square Pants especially when he puts his arms up and hoots. His child like demeanor is funny and he always seems to survive the bad guys. To be honest I slept through most of the movie and woke up to David Hasselhof shooting Sponge Bob and his star fish buddy from his flexing chest muscles. I still wake up screaming with that image in my head. I may have scared the kids at the matinee.

Anyway, take your chances with this movie. I think a lot of the humor that I was awake for came from the T. V. show and may not be funny to a Sponge Bob Square Pants Virgin.

Christmas Gift Reviews: Bumper Nuts and Nipple Tassels

Bumper Nuts: www.bumpernuts.com

BumperNuts.com offers a gift for people who are nuts about their vehicle and want to show the world it has balls, big balls (1 pound to be exact). Drop forged (ouch) 9 x 5.5 inch Bumper Nuts hangs with the big boys. A perfect pair for the off road enthusiast and comes in Black Tuxedo (Black), Blue Balls (Blue), Green Cammo (Green) for the bush whacker and Fireman Red Nuts (Red) for $24.95. If disposition permits you can be the Big Man On Campus with the $45.00 set of 3 pound, drop forged (ouch), shiny brass Bumper Nuts. Everyone will know how your hangin' with your new Bumper Nuts. This could go on forever.

Great gift. Practically indestructible and its offensiveness is over shadowed by the humor it brings. Brass balls and other Bumper Nuts products are made in the U.S.A. (I never thought I would be the guy writing that sentence). Get your Christmas shopping in the sack and buy some balls that will drive someone nuts.

Nipple Tassels: http://www.trademe.co.nz

Nipple tassels seem like the gift that would keep on giving. An obvious enhancement to something most men are already attracted to, much like the Bumper Nuts, but different.

Without having a pierced nipple myself I opted for the clamp style. This sounds simple and harmless and with dreams of them spinning in front of me the thought became exciting. The idea is that you gently clamp the little beads on each side of your nipple and they should hang tauntingly down over the natural curve of the body.

Not a good gift. The clamping eventually made my nipple itch and the fine nylon tassels got caught in my chest hair and spinning them was out of the question even if I was in shape. It did make for a good time in my nose at the corner bar.

The B. K. Lounge Eats: Kentucky Hot Brown

This is a high ranking comfort food that originated at Louisville Kentucky's Brown Hotel. This recipe, I believe, is probably fairly close to the original Hot Brown recipe. Liberties can be taken with the meat and the cheese, maybe ham and Swiss or sausage and jalapeno cheddar, what ever it takes. Truly one of the finest creations ever scrapped out of an artery and possibly top 5 in being a hangover cure.

• 2 slices of toast, live a little
• 3 ounces turkey breast, roasted,
o grilled, leftover whatever you have, sliced
• 2 or so slices of tomato
• 2 slices cooked bacon, at least

The Sauce:
• 2 ounces butter
• 3 ounces flour
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 1/4 cup whole milk
• 1/2 cup grated Swiss cheese
• salt and fat pinch of pepper

In a sauce pan heat butter and whisk in flour.

Continue whisking.

Cook slowly for 5 minutes.

Whisk in cream and milk and continue to heat.

Whisk in cheese until melted.

Go ahead and whisk in the salt and pepper.

Simmer for 30 minutes or until very thick.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Place toast in the bottom of an oven safe dish. Top with sliced turkey and tomatoes.

Spoon generous amounts of sauce over toast, turkey and tomatoes and bake at 400 degrees for about 10 minutes.

If you do not receive the January 2005 Lounge Lizard I was abducted by the 'Good'ol Boys Network' for giving you this recipe.

Wanted:
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Phobia Of The Month:
Snatchyphobia: Fear of being 'snatched at' evidently, by a snatchy person.

Could be a problem for a porn star.

Please send us your comments and we will consider them for future newsletters.

©Bryan Knox, 2004
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