Lounge Cocktail: Apple Martini
Cocktail provided by Webtender

Equal Parts:
• 1 part Vodka (Absolut)
• 1 part Sour Apple schnapps (Pucker)
• 1 part Apple juice (optional)

Poor all ingredients into a shaker. Shake well and strain into a Martini glass. Do not operate machinery.

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"The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball."

- Doug Larson

14 tips to making Church more fun*

1. Start a wave.
2. Make up your own words to the songs.
3. Eat dry Cap'n Crunch through the entire service.
4. If it is an Easter service, wear a pastel jacket, tie, and matching shorts. If you are male, wear a floral-print dress instead.
5. Turn in the Bible to the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20. 3-17). Add the words "in bed" after each one.
6. Make the sun reflect off your watch into the preacher's face.
7. Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."
8. A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".
9. Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this seat SAYEEEEE-VED?"
10. Make calls to 900 numbers on the phone in the kitchen.
11. During the service, play with plastic dinosaurs. If someone asks what you're doing, tell them in a childlike voice: "These are dinosaurs. THEY ruled the earth over 6 million years ago."
12. Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being stoned.
13. Drool in the collection plate.
14. Ask someone what they think about the Book of Peleponnesians. After they tell you, inform them that there is no Book of Peleponnesians.

*Please only read this if you know the difference between talking about something funny and what is actually funny when executed. We are not responsible for unexpected results.

Lounging at the movies: Taking Lives, Human Stain,
000000000000000000000 13 going on 30 and The Exorcist - the beginning

Taking Lives (unrated version): Angelina Jolie, what's his name Hawk (not Tony Hawk) and a buch of French Canadian dudes including the drug lord from S.W.A.T. and Kiefer Sutherland, briefly.

After a fairly disturbing secuence to begin the film Angelina is called in to a case about a serial killer who mutilates his victims and takes on thier identity. Angelina gets naked and has some monkey love with Hawk, anyway, the story was good and there are a couple of times we went whoooowwwww because of the unexpectedness of the fim. Although there is a really disturbing scene at the end of the movie, things are not what they seem. We watched it. We liked it. We think you will like it also.

The Human Stain: Sir Anthony Hopkins, Gary Cenise, Ed Harris and that Kidman Chic.

A tale of the struggle of an aging yet playful college classics professor. Hopkins and Cenise dance with each other, Kidman gets naked and Harris is nuts. It was ok, did I mention Kidman gets naked. Hopkins finds love late in life that leads to revealing his interesting but sad past. And Kidman gets naked and dances a sultry dance. Much better than the dance Hopkins and Cenise have.

Exorcist - The beginning: Stellan Skarsgard, Izabella Scorupco and other people with names that are hard to spell.

Father Merrin (Skarsgard) after a really bad experience in the 1st world war has left the church to become a full time archiologist and alcoholic in Egypt. He is approached to find a relic from a church that was being dug up in Kenya. Needless to say they don't bury the fun churches and you should not dig up the scary ones. As the dig continues the story begins to suface. Although evil has many names it has the same scary face and nasty voice. This is the story of how the guy in the original Exorcist gets all his experience with nastiness and fighting evil. It was scary with a couple of unexpected turns. We liked it. To refesh your memory of the original Exorcist please view this 30 second version performed by bunnies by clicking here.

13 Going On 30: Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo and others.

Although Jennifer Garner (Alias, Meeeooowwww) never gets naked, the story is fun. Basicaly a 13 year old girl wished to be older and gets it. Waking up as an adult with the insight of a 13 year old made for really funny situations. We where happy to see Garner in a funny role but also kept expecting here to kick the snot out of somebody throughout the film. It is light hearted and funny with a warm fuzzy ending. Enjoy.

B. K. Lounge Eats: Beer can chicken & Tim's Balsamic Tossed Potatoes

Beer Can Chicken: After last months newsletter we where curious about actually marinading a chicken in Whiskey, so we did. We took a whole 2 1/2 lbs. chicken and placed it in a ziplock bag with about 3 cups of high grade Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey. The chicken freaked out so we went to the store and bought a chicken prepared for roasting put it in the ziplock bag and poured in 3 cups of high grade Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey.

After about 6 hours of marinating the chicken we placed it on our beer can roaster and placed it in the oven. It exploded. Although unexpectedly funny we decided this was a bad idea and we put out the fire and went back to the store for another chicken. Below is what we did.

• 1 whole (but prepared for cooking) chicken
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon pepper
• 1 teaspoon rosemary minced
• 1 canned beer,
0 accompanied by more canned beers.

Wash out chicken and rub inside and out with salt pepper and rosemary. Drink half of one of the beers and with a can opener make 3 or so more holes in the top of the can. Place in rear end of chicken, open end of can first, so it sits upright in the oven while in a pan to catch the grease. The last thing you need is another fire, trust us. Cook at 375 degrees for about 45 minutes to an hour. It should be golden brown.

Let rest 5 to 10 minutes before cutting up and serving.

Tim's Balsamic Tossed Potatoes: Although seemingly unusual, so is Tim, and we really like him so we gave his potatoes a try and they are great.

• 3 or 4 baking potatoes
• 3-4 Tablespoons olive oil
• 1 Tablespoon fresh chopped
0 or crushed dry rosemary
• 3 or 4 large basil leaves choppped small
• 3 cloves of garlic minced

In a bowl
• 1/3 cup Balsamic Vinegar
• 1 Tablespoon sugar
• 3 or 4 basil leaves rolled up and
0 cut into thin strips

• Salt and Pepper

Take 3 or 4 baking potatoes and cut them into about 1 inch squares. Sprinkle with rosemary and toss in olive oil, basil and garlic and bake on a cookie sheet along with the chicken at 375 degrees for about for 45 minutes or until golden brown turning once.

When brown and wonderful remove from oven and springle with the balsamic mixture. Salt and pepper to taste.

Serve with chicken or eat right of the baking dish.

NOTICE:
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Phobia Of The Month:
Anablephobia: The fear of looking up.

This seems like a tough phobia to live with. What if there is a spider slowly making way from the cieling to the top of your head. What if you can almost feel it touching the hair on the very top of your head. Is it an itch or a big hairy spider? What if, in a panic you quickly look up and it crawls up your nose. Just a thought.

Please send us your comments and we will consider them for future newsletters.

©Bryan Knox, 2004
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