The Lounge Lizard The B.K. Lounge  

Margarita Jello Shots, XXX,
HMO Recommendations

God Bless America!

Sept. 2002

Cooler evening and low humidity and blue skies.

Our Pledge:
To maintain the highest standards we are capable of. To publish information that is based on as much fact as we can find. To have fun without offending most of our readers.


1st Monday, Labor Day
If you labor, this is your day. We believe it should be called "If you labor day" but until we make the rules it will remain Labor Day.

6th, Procrastination Day
This holiday is never on a good day.

7th - 8th, Rosh HaShanah
Rosh HaShanah is the Jewish New Year. Unlike the Roman calendar which follows the stages of the sun, the Jewish calendar follows the phases of the moon.

8th, Grandparents Day
Unless you came from a test tube there is a really good chance you will be making a phone call or sending a card this day. These are the people who gave you what you want because they knew eventually you would go back to your own house.

16th, Yom Kippur
Yom Kippur means "Day of Atonement." This is your last chance to make amends, forgive and forget, let bygones be bygones, whatever it takes.

16th, Mexican
Independence Day

This is the day that Mexico declared its Independence from Spain. I bet the Mayans wish they had of thought of that.

23rd, Autumn Equinox
Truly the last day of summer and probably a pagan holiday of some kind. So get out your robes and some Merlot and cook something.



Check out Cooking With Alcohol, The B.K. Lounge cook book, and our gift shop .

"Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Lounge Cocktail:

Margarita Jello Shots
Submitted By Tami M.

We had the luxury of lounging on a rooftop in celebration of a mutual friend last month with Tami. She visited the site and this is her contribution to The B.K. Lounge mission; Margarita Jello Shots.

3/4c 1800 tequila
1 lime
1 small box lime Jello
1 cup boiling water

Pay attention, this is a bit of a science. In a 1 cup measuring cup pour the 3/4 cup of Tequila. Squeeze in the juice of a fresh lime. Fill with Cointreau to make 1 full cup. Chill until chilly. If you are worthy you may want to quality check some of the left over Tequila.

Dissolve lime Jello in 1 cup boiling water and add chilled Tequila mixture. Put in fridge or freezer (don't forget about it, especially if you have to quality check the Tequila. More than 7 times.)

After Jello is set or you just cannot wait, stir and put in shot cups or little paper cups (once again, depending on how the quality checking is going).

If you follow these directions the Jello shot will slide right into your mouth and directly to your brain.

• • • • • • • • • • • •

Cooking With Alcohol Is a
Spiral Bound Catered Party!

• 100+ of our favorite recipes
• Cocktail recipes
• Dips and sauces
• Marinades
Helpful hints
• Conversion charts
• Substitution charts
Thoughts on procedures

• How to properly light a grill, no matter what condition you are in.

You can order via secure server or send a check or money order. We guarantee Cooking With Alcohol or your money back.


HMO Recommendation

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.

The lab tech says, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, the news is either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife."

"That's terrible! Can we do the test over?"

"Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town--if she finds her way home, don't have sex."


• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Rug Sales

A lady walks into a shop that sells VERY expensive Persian rugs. She browses around, then spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends to feel the texture of the rug, she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns back, there, standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, madam. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely rug?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are very likely going to crap your pants when you hear the price."


Lounging with a movie: The Rant
XXX / Resident Evil / Collateral Damage

We felt all these movies where lame. In no particular order: If you are going to become airborne on a motorcycle, ramp it off of something, even the most radical action movie fan would give a big fat "whatever" to someone pulling themselves into the air 25 feet or so; when you are in a really scary place and the person you are with just disappears but they are just in another part of the house, this is not scary, it is just bad editing; zombies, been there, done that. Do you know where you have to shoot a zombie to kill it? In the arm? No. In the chest? No. In the chest? No. In the chest? No. No. No. No. YOU SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD! THE ONLY WAY TO KILL A ZOMBIE IS TO SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD OR REMOVE THE BRAIN. Never leave your enemy to die, always watch them die. Why? Because if you do not, they will always come back. Arnold, how long have you been in this country? Two words, diction, D-I-C-T-I-O-N. OK, enough ranting.

Now that I am thinking about movies, we have recently viewed Kate and Leopold. A funny film with Meg Ryan and the guy from X-Men, Wolverine. Kind of a chick film but a guy will be able to survive it because of the humor.

Also, we saw Signs with Mel Gibson and possibly the guy from Artificial Intelligence (don't get me started again on AI) and a couple of kids and some really nasty aliens. Kind of a War of the Worlds for our generation with some extra family values. This movie was a little scary and in parts, very funny. It was good to see a movie with Mel Gibson where he does not get beat up or tortured. I was expecting it, but was pleasantly surprised when it never happened.

Mothman Prophecies. Read the book. We did not care for this movie either.

Jamaican Jerk Rub and Curried Yogurt Marinade

The end of summer is rapidly approaching so we have supplied two killer recipes for the grill. These are both really easy and very tasty.

Jamiacan Jerk Rub is an herb blend that you rub onto pork chops or chicken, not for some Rasta you may not care for. It is really good and tasted just like we thought it would-very Jamaican. So strap on an apron mon and start rubbin' de chicken.

2 tablespoons Allspice, ground or crushed
1/4 teaspoon fresh grated nutmeg
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 tablespoons chopped white onion or whatever you have
6 scotch bonnet peppers. This can be adjusted to a milder
ii burn by using 6 jalapeno peppers.
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon fresh ground pepper
2 tablespoons soy sauce
a shot of hot sauce if you like.

Mix together in a blender, food processor or whatever you have. Whatever you do not use you may store in the fridge.

Curried Yogurt Marinade is a light, easy to make and really yummy recipe for skewered grilled chicken. We use metal skewers but if you are using wood skewers you may want to soak them in water.

Chicken, cut into thick strips
1-1/2 cups plain yogurt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/2 cup (loose) chopped fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon curry paste. Whatever kind you like
Salt and pepper to taste
6 or more Tecate or beer of choice

Mix yogurt, lemon juice, cilantro and curry paste in a bowl large enough to hold all the ingredients including the chicken. When you are done, add the chicken. Let marinade for at least an hour or in the fridge longer. This would be a good time to make sure the beer is cold and delicious.

Remove, skewer and grill until perfect. Usually about 4 to 5 minutes per side on a medium hot grill. We have made this as the main course and have served it with Hummus as an appetizer.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.




Women from Venus 120x60


If you loan someone $20 dollars and you never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.

Phobia Of The Month:
Ideophobia: Fear of ideas.

I do not know what to say.

The B.K. Lounge: Cooking with Alcohol Gift Shop

Please send us your comments and we will consider them for future newsletter.

©Bryan Knox, 2002
Designed and developed at Knox Laboratory

If you would like to be removed from the Lounge Lizard mailing list please send a note to The B.K. Lounge. We will remove you a soon as we get around to it. The B.K. Lounge does not have an automated mailing list and we remove subscribers the old fashion way. So be patient. This is the work of love.