Lounge Cocktail: Southern Sparkler

Equal Parts
• Southern Comfort
• Grapefruit Juice
• Pineapple Juice
• Soda

Mix everything but the soda with ice. Fill a collins glass 3/4 full, top with soda, garnish with an orange slice and cherry or your lips.
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"If your parents never had children,
chances are you won't, either."

-Dick Cavettooooo

10 bucks for a homeless man

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of
dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?!!" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and
I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex."

Submitted by Mike H. - Hobart, IN

Lounging at the movies: Dawn Of The Dead, 50 First Dates

Still have not seen Dawn Of The Dead.

As of the time this was written we had not actually viewed the 2004 Dawn Of The Dead remake. But would like to take a moment to review the progression of scary stuff.

Through the years we have we thought we had seen any possible combination of visuals that would scare us. As fan's of scary movies we come to expect certain consistencies. For instance, aliens usually can be killed by a common element that is readily available like water or air. There is always text containing some old verbiage to get rid of a witch. The devil has the entire church working against him and usually looses. But recently there has been a change in the rules, zombies, the un-dead, whatever, are stupid and slow, until now. We are not talking about the low budget 28 Days Later, that depended on a virus, true zombies. People that died and then come back to feast on human flesh, mindlessly but slow and easily tricked. The tables have turned and zombies have been given a new advantage. Now you not only have to separate their heads from their body but you no longer can out run them if you are weaponless. The surprise factor has added a new layer to scary and we have found ourselves not even able to watch the commercials.

50 First Dates: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore meeeeooowww!, Rob Schneider, one of the hobbits, Sean Astin, Dan Aykroyd, other people and a walrus.

We loved this film. It is sweet, funny and an unexpected romance. The premise is that Henry Roth (Adam Sandler), living in Hawaii, is a guy who dates ladies on vacation. He shows them a good time and they leave. The perfect life for him.

One day he meets Lucy Whitmore (Drew Barrymore), only soon to find out that after a tragic accident, has no new memories after that day. She wakes up every day thinking it is her fathers birthday and any event that occurs that day is forgotten while she sleeps at night and she starts clean the following day.

Henry, now absorbed with Lucy, attempts to have her fall in love with him every day with the hope of sticking in her memory.

Great film. Rent it. Rude and sometimes violent humor that are funny no matter who is the butt end of the joke.

B. K. Lounge Eats: Citrus Grilled Pork

This recipe is easy and yummy. Two very common attributes for lounge eating. You can serve about 6 people with this recipe or 3 really hungry people. It's up to you.
 
1/4 cup Kikkoman Soy Sauce
1 large bottle grapefruit juice
2 medium-size serrano chilies,
00 seeded and minced
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Pinch of salt
1 bottle vodka
2 pork tenderloins, about 3/4 pound each
Meat Thermometer

In a water glass pour about 2 shots of vodka. Fill with ice and top off with grapefruit juice. This is for you. Cooking should never be stressful.

Combine soy sauce, 1/4 cup grapefruit juice, chilies, oil, cumin and pepper.

Pour over pork in large plastic food storage bag. Toss to cover tenderloin and press out any air that may be trapped. Refrigerate 1 hour.

Light the grill.

After about 1 hour or when you have finished your cocktail. Make another cocktail. Coals should be medium hot, place pork on grill 5 to 7 inches from coals.

Cook 20 minutes, turning over occasionally, or until meat thermometer inserted into thickest part registers 160ÅF.

Let tenderloin stand at least 5 minutes before carving. Enjoy.

NOTICE:

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Phobia Of The Month:
Vestiphobia: Fear of clothing.

I am writing this naked out of respect for the vestiphobics out there. Just so you know this phobia is not a good excuse to get naked on a date especially if you are in a bar.

Please send us your comments and we will consider them for future newsletters.

©Bryan Knox, 2004
Designed and developed at Knox Laboratory