Lounge Cocktail:
Red Bull and Vodka

• 1 part Red Bull
• 1 part Vodka

Mix over ice and enjoy. We where turned on to this cocktail by our friend and fellow lounger Denise. You know who you are, tell Joel Hi. Anyway it is a crisp energetic yet relaxing cocktail that should be called liquid speedball.

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Rectum Stretcher

While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over) I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me,"What's the hurry?" I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher."

The cop said "What? ... a rectum stretcher?, and what does a rectum stretcher do?"

I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."

The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge."

The ticket - - $95.00
The look on his face - - PRICELESS

Submitted by M. Hill, Chicago, IL.

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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

-Oscar Wilde

Lounging at the movies: Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon:

I put off seeing this movie for years and really had no desire to see a subtitled movie anyway. When this movie came out everybody was all Crouching Tiger this, Crouching Tiger that, the cinematography is great, bla bla bla.

I remember when I was younger and some buddy wanted me to meet some girl and he would say "she is really funny" or "She has a pretty face" that this meant she probably had an extra thumb or was bald.

I always felt that Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was the same. All these guys had to see it because their girlfriends made them and then they had to justify to me as being really good. Well you guys know how it is at the lounge and we call it like we see it. We did not like it. We thought the cinematography did not make up for the lameness of having to read while watching a film. If I wanted to read I would have bought the book. You want to see cinematography that will keep your colon clinched refer to last months newsletter where we review Bullet Proof Monk. No reading, all the flying around and kicking some serious butt.

B. K. Lounge Eats: Cuban Chicken and Corn

I saw this recipe on TV while I was at the dentist. I could not write it down because the dentist had both hands in my mouth and she would not give me a pen. The recipe was recreated later that day and turned out great. This is a spicy meal but very tasty. People who do not like spicy food will still be able to eat it. Do not let the Habinero peppers scare you. In the proportions they are used it is shearly a compliment to the meal and not over powering.

• Two or 4 boneless chicken breast.
• Chihuahua Cheese or Parmesan
llllor both, grated.
• Corn on the cob with husks

Sauce for the chicken:
• Juice 4 oranges, remove seeds leave pulp.
• Juice 2 limes.
• 5 fat cloves of garlic minced.
• 1 dried Chipotle pepper.
• 1 Fat Habinero Pepper diced.
• Pinch of salt.

Pour ingredients into a sauce pan and reduce to half of original volume over medium low heat. Remove from heat and strain liquid. Disregard leftover pulp etc.

Herbed butter for corn:
• 1 stick of butter at room temperature.
• 1 Habinero pepper.
• 1 bunch of fresh chives, green ends only.
• 1 fat clove of garlic crushed.
• Pinch of salt.
• Pinch of ground pepper.

Place ingredients into a food processor and blend until it looks like smooth green butter. Set aside.

Place corn on the grill and let it grill for a while turning every so often. Corn in the husk is hard to burn because the husk traps the moisture from the corn and steams it.

Grill the chicken brushing it with the orange juice sauce you prepared earlier until done.

When the corn is hot juicy and possibly the kernels are lightly browned remove from the grill and husk. Brush with the herbed butter you made earlier, sprinkle with cheese and serve with the chicken.

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©Bryan Knox, 2003
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