The Lounge Lizard: April Fools, Pork Roast and Bloody Mary

April Fools, Pork Roast and Bloody Mary

April 2001

Big puffy clouds with
warming temperatures.



Our Pledge: To maintain the highest standards we are capable of. To publish information that is based on as much fact as we can find. To have fun without offending most of our readers.


April Events:

2nd, April Fools Day
Just kidding, it's the 1st

8th, Passover

13th, Thomas Jefferson's

15th, Easter

22nd, Earth Day
date may vary

25th Secretaries Day

Arbor Day, 3rd Friday

Check out Cooking With Alcohol, The B.K. Lounge cook book, and our gift shop .

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

-Former U.S. Vice President, Dan Quayle

Lounge Cocktail:

Bloody Mary
It's not just for breakfast anymore.

1 1/2 oz. vodka
fill with tomato juice
3-5 drops Tabasco
3-5 drops Worcestershire sauce
dab of horseradish
Coarse black pepper
dash of celery salt
dash of black pepper
dash of lemon juice
add celery stalk or lime wedge

Stir ingredients in a tall glass. Add celery stalk or lime wedge. Enjoy.

Red Eye
This is more popular in the southern states.
The recipe is the same as the Bloody Mary except you substitute the vodka with 12 oz. cheap beer and you serve it in a bigger glass. I use a pint glass


"Why Men Should Not
Take Messages"

Testing became conclusive when this result was entered.

Husbands note to his wife:
"Doctor's office called: Said Pabst Beer is normal."

No further testing is planned


Did You Know?

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

And a ducks quack does not echo.


Lounging Through History: Sesame Street in a bad neighborhood?

The Mississippi State Commission for Educational TV banned the showing of the children's educational television program, Sesame Street. With a harmonious, multiracial neighborhood as its hub, the award-winning show was shocking and deplorable to many bigoted conservatives in the U.S. when it first aired. The state's decision to ban was reversed in 1970.

Lounging With A Video:
I have nothin'

We watched several videos last month. Dr. T with Richard Gere and a bunch of other famous people, Lost Souls with Wynona Ryder, Bless the Child with Kim Bassinger, Man Hunter (Directors Cut) and Get Carter with Silvester Stallone. Not really happy about any of them.

The general consensus here at the Lounge is that Dr. T, Man Hunter, Get Carter and Lost Souls all sucked. Bless the child was not too bad but not very memorable.

If anybody out there has a review of a film or can suggest a film that might be worth watching. Please contact us at The B. k. Lounge.


Because of this lack of visual entertainment The B. K. lounge searched out an alternative stimulant. Feel free to visit the Playboy Store.



Needed: One Pet

A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot. It wouldn't be as much work as a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak.

At the pet store there was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a whorehouse and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.

She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation.

\Moments later the woman's husband, Ray, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Ray."

Women from Venus 120x60

Lounge Chow: Roasted Pork Loin
Lounge Chow: with Chipotle Marmalade

I love to cook meals like this. Everyone is so impressed and yet it is so simple. Make the marmalade and start marinating the pork loin the night before. When you begin to cook your meal all that is left is making a salad and drinking wine.

Chipotle Marmalade

3 2/3 cups beef stock or canned beef broth
3 2/3 cups chicken broth
3 tablespoons olive oil
3/4 cup finely chopped shallots
1/2 cup orange marmalade
1 tablespoon chopped canned Chipotle chilies*
1 tablespoon water
2 teaspoons cornstarch

Bring beef and chicken stocks to a boil in a medium saucepan until reduced to 2 1/2 cups, about 45 minutes.

Heat 2 tablespoons olive oil in heavy large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add shallots and sauté until tender, about 4 minutes. Add reduced stock mixture, marmalade and Chipotle chilies. Simmer until mixture is reduced to 2 cups, about 5 minutes. Mix 1 tablespoon water and cornstarch in small bowl. Whisk cornstarch mixture into stock mixture. Stir until sauce boils and thickens, about 5 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. This can be made the day before.

*Chipotle peppers can be found in most groceries in the ethnic section or Mexican food stores.

Pork Loin

3 1/5 - 4 pound boneless pork loin
1 cup apple juice
3/4 cup soy sauce
1/2 cup honey
2 large garlic cloves, peeled and chopped fine
2 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup golden or dark rum
2 tablespoons olive oil
salt and pepper

In a large heavy resealable plastic bag combine pork and with everything, except 1/2 cup rum and olive oil, and seal bag, pressing out any excess air. Take the rum and drink it. Refrigerate pork turning bag once or twice, at least 8 to 24 hours. Remove pork from fridge about 40 minutes before cooking.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Pat pork dry with paper towels and season with salt and pepper. Roast pork in roasting pan in the middle of the oven, basting frequently with some Chipotle marinade. Roast until a meat thermometer registers 155 degrees F, for slightly pink meat, 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

Transfer pork to a cutting board, reserving juices in roasting pan and let stand, covered loosely with foil, about 15 minutes before cutting. You could whip flour into the drippings and make some gravy if you like.



"I'm so healthy I expect to live on and on."
- health guru J. I. Rodale, moments before
he dropped dead during a taping
of the Dick Cavett Show, 1971.

Phobia Of The Month:

fear of insanity

This would drive me crazy

Please send us your comments and we will consider them for future newsletter.

©Bryan Knox, 2001
Designed and developed at Knox Laboratory

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