The Lounge Lizard The B.K. Lounge  

Caveman Diet, Lion King 1 1/2,
and Irish Creme Cafe

God Bless America!

March 2004

Mild and pleasant like nostalgia and a cup of tea.

Our Pledge:
To maintain the highest standards we are capable of. To publish information that is based on as much fact as we can find. To have fun without offending most of our readers.


Happy Birthday Sarah K.

I Love You.


Gift Shop

Check out Cooking With Alcohol, The B.K. Lounge cook book, and our gift shop .

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."

- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

Lounge Cocktail: Irish Cream Cafe
From our friends at

• 1/2 ounce Bushmills Irish Cream
• 1/2 ounce coffee liqueur
• 1/2 ounce hazelnut liqueur
• 6 ounces coffee
• Whipped cream
• Cinnamon

Pour first 3 ingredients into a tall coffee mug. Top with fresh hot coffee. Finish with whipped cream and cinnamon.

• • • • • • • • • • • •

Cooking With Alcohol Is a
Spiral Bound Catered Party!

• 100+ of our favorite recipes
• Cocktail recipes
• Dips and sauces
• Marinades
Helpful hints
• Conversion charts
• Substitution charts
Thoughts on procedures

• How to properly light a grill, no matter what condition you are in.

You can order via secure server or send a check or money order. We guarantee Cooking With Alcohol or your money back.


Drinking Games

An international competition for the title of the most manly man comprised three tests. Every participant must:
1. Drink in one gulp a bottle of vodka;

2. Walk into a cage and shake hands with a female bear,

3. To make love to a woman from a remote Siberian village who never in her life took a bath.

A Frenchman drank all of the vodka, and dropped dead. An Englishman drank vodka, then walked into the cage, and dropped dead when he saw the female bear. A Russian drank vodka, and walked into the cage. There was a noisy commotion, then the Russian walked out of the cage, buttoning his pants, and asked, "Where is the woman to shake her hand?"



"It seems like all the e-mail I get is porn. How do they get my address and who do I thank."

- Todd C. Chicago, IL.

Lounging at the movies: Wonderland, Lion King 1 1/2


Starring Val Kilmer, Bobby from The Practice, the short hillbilly from O' Brother Where Art Thou, Sean Penn's brother from Weight of Water, Pheobe from Friends and many more.*

A film about the years following John Holmes (Johnny Wad) hay day. Based around the famous Wonderland Murders, this gritty depiction is a little disturbing.

Already in the grips of some serious cocaine abuse Holmes (Val Kilmer) is involved in a robbery to the tune of 1.2 million dollars from a powerful club owner in Hollywood. The people involved in the robbery end up with really deep dents in their heads, presumably payback for the robbery. The movie is an investigation into the murders. One story coming from Bobby from the Practice, as a biker. The other from John Holmes, Val Kilmer.

You will need a strong stomach for drug abuse and violence. This film is a gritty depiction of people in the throws of hard core cocaine and heroin addiction. We liked it but it freaked us out a little.

*Editors Note: Cast of Wonderland: Val Kilmer, Kate Bosworth, Carrie Fisher, Dylan McDermott, Michael Pitt, Josh Lucas, Tim Blake Nelson, Lisa Cudrow, Eric Bogosian, Chistina Applegate, Janeane Garofalo and Paris Hilton.

Lion King 1 1/2

Starring Pumba the wild pig and Timone which is some kind of rat. They call it 1 1/2 because it is what happened to Pumba and Timone during Lion King 1 and Lion King 2.

Although we do not condone the use of marijuana we would surely understand a little bong therapy before sitting down to this film. Depending on your own values this movie was either pretty funny or really funny.

This movie follows Pumba and Timone through the background of the Lion King movies on adventures that at points have a Mystery Science Theatre style to it.

We never get tired of a good fart joke, especially when animals actually pass out from it. There are several scenes that borderline hysterical or very funny depending on your ethic. We all fell in love with Pumba and the simple but thorough way he sees the world.

We enjoyed it very much and people of any age will enjoy this film.


We anxiously await Lion King 1.75.



B. K. Lounge Eats: Caveman Diet

Recently we have explored some options for dieting here at The B.K. Lounge Laboratory and have learned many new things.

We first tried the Atkins Diet. This diet is low carbohydrate with some fairly complicated rules as far as what you can eat. Our research came to this conclusion. If you live off beans, rice, bread and pasta, besides being Rastafarian, you will be very disappointed. You will have to stop eating most of this. Beans, rice, bread and pasta are all major sources of carbohydrate but only cost about 25¢ to 65¢ a pound depending where you are. The Atkins Diet required you to eat protein. Proteins and non carbohydrate foods include meat, fish and some produce and they cost $1.50 to $5.00 and up a pound. This is an expensive diet. You may loose weight purely from the cost factor. We also found that beer and Bourbon Whiskey are high in carbohydrate and not allowed. This was a deal breaker and the diet was disregarded and thought to be a form of Nazi witchcraft.

Now that we were back to our beer and Bourbon we started to think more realistically and we began to research the earliest humanoids to try and formulate a new diet that was more realistic. We researched online and went to the museums and realized fairly quickly that Cavemen were never overweight. They were always lean.

Then it came to us like a Rolex salesman on a street corner, The Caveman Diet.

The Caveman Diet

You can eat whatever you want whenever you want. You can eat as much as you want in any variety you wish but you have to catch it and kill it yourself using only items you find, like a rock or a stick. The only exception is beer and Bourbon, we learned that lesson with the Atkins diet.


You can only eat Cavemen. Either way you will loose weight.


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.


Women from Venus 120x60

"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."

- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)IIIII

Phobia Of The Month:
Angrophobia: Fear of anger or of becoming angry.

What kind of thin lipped wimp would even admit to this. I bet they are the same people who walk over homeless people to throw paint on fur coats.

The B.K. Lounge: Cooking with Alcohol Gift Shop

Please send us your comments and we will consider them for future newsletters.

©Bryan Knox, 2004
Designed and developed at Knox Laboratory

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