Rehab and the Ultimate Breakfast,
Lord of the Rings

Lounge Cocktail:

As you know, at The B.K. Lounge we are always here to help. So in good faith we have listed some links for people who are committed to making a difference. Betty Ford Center - Jenny Craig - Rapid Detox.

For those who want to feel better without a major lifestyle change: Hairy Tongue, Hangover.net and Hangoverguide.com.

For those of us that are O.K. with the way things are going, well, Happy New Year. And enjoy the first edition of The Lounge Lizard of 2003.

• • • • • • • • • • • •

Cooking With Alcohol Is a
Spiral Bound Catered Party!

• 100+ of our favorite recipes
• Cocktail recipes
• Dips and sauces
• Marinades
• Helpful hints
• Conversion charts
• Substitution charts
• Thoughts on procedures
• How to properly light a grill, no matter what condition you are in.

You can order via secure server or send a check or money order. We guarantee Cooking With Alcohol or your money back.

A Breakfast Story

¾A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

submitted by M. Hill, Chicago, IL

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."

-Napoleon Bonaparte

Lounging at the movies: Lord Of The Rings part 2: The Two Towers

I am not sure if I mentioned this in the review for the Lord Of The Rings part 1, but you should definitely go to the rest room before sitting down to this movie. Clocking in at around 3 hours Heavy Weight Champion of the silver screen..........

Starring the same guys from the first movie, excluding the ones that die, God bless their souls. Plus one for the living because someone comes back and some new people.

This epic struggle of good and evil takes place in Middle Earth which and takes many turns. You may want to wear a diaper because there are very few slow spots.

Remember the Orc (I think that's what they where, big teeth and a nasty disposition), well they are plentiful in this movie and somewhere along the line they upgraded to a nastier version. This movie spends considerably more time with the bad guys. The good guys, in pairs or trios, all have their own adventures.

I got a bad feeling when the Orcs where on. They are unpredictable and really violent. It was like at times I was afraid I was actually going to catch a wiff of the Org funk because the camera was so close to them.

Found myself noticing a little bit of size inconsistency with the Dwarf and the Hobbits. Sometimes it seemed like the people in the background where really big and not that the supposedly small guys where actually small. Maybe it is me but I thought I would mention it.

In conclusion this film is highly recommended. We found it hugely entertaining if being hugely entertaining is even possible. Although we did not rent the first one before going out to see The Two Towers it is also recommended.

This was an excellent film and next month are looking forward to "About Schmidt" and if we remember we will be reviewing it.

B. K. Lounge Breakfast of Champions

If you are reading this you have survived another year. Treat yourself to a true survivors meal. If the year was not tough enough you probably, in true lounge fashion, tried to finish yourself off with alcohol and merry making.

Mimosa:
Orange juice
Campaign

Ultimate Omelet:
Lots of water
Tablespoon Butter
4 eggs. Scrambled in a cup
1/4 medium onion. Diced. Save other 3/4 for hash browns
1 Jalapeno pepper. Minced
4 slices cooked bacon. Crumbled.
Lots of cheddar cheese or whatever you like. Grated.

Lounge Browns:
Butter
3/4 medium onion, cut in thin slices
1/2 red bell pepper. Diced
4 cloves garlic. Crushed and minced.
Vegetable oil
4 potatoes. Diced.
More cheese. Shredded.
Salt
Pepper

In a tall glass pour Champagne and drink it. Fill now empty glass half full of orange juice and top with Champagne. You are now ready to cook.

In a medium hot frying pan melt a tablespoon of butter. Pour in eggs and roll pan to cover bottom. Add onion, jalapeno and bacon. If you have a talent for omelets you will want to flip half of the omelet onto the other half making a pocket and letting it cook through. If you do not care you can scramble the whole thing until cooked through. Remove from pan and place on a dish. Add grated cheese and cover to keep warm.

In the same frying pan sauté the onion, bell pepper and garlic in butter until onion is beginning to brown and are translucent. Remove and place on the eggs.

Pour about 1/2 inch of vegetable oil in the pan and heat until oil is hot enough to fry. Add potatoes and fry until they are almost golden brown. Remove and put potatoes on the eggs as well.

You may cook the potatoes in a separate pan and be done much faster if you wish. It is your day.

Put more cheese on top, grab another Mimosa and sit down. Find some place comfortable because after you eat you will probably sleep for some time.

NOTICE:
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Phobia Of The Month:
Methyphobia- Fear of Alcohol.

This phobia is very common around the new year and can be combated with the breakfast described above.

Please send us your comments and we will consider them for future newsletter.

©Bryan Knox, 2003
Designed and developed at Knox Laboratory