Our Pledge: To maintain the highest standards we are capable of. To publish information that is based on as much fact as we can find. To have fun without offending most of our readers.
1st, New Years Day
5th, Epiphany Eve
6th, Bean Day
12th, Feast of Fabulous
24th, Chinese New Year
24th, Eskimo Pie
The new millennium, take a deep breath. This should be the time to make super resolutions. Resolutions are very popular for New Year's celebrations and the new millennium is an extra special time. This is the moment to make major changes in you life, set some goals and forgiveness for the past. Make a clean start with no regrets and full of hope for the future.
As you know, at The B.K. Lounge we are always here to help. So in good faith we have listed some links for people who are committed to making a difference. Betty Ford Center - Stop Smoking Ring - Jenny Craig - Rapid Detox
For those of us that are O.K. with the way things are going, well, Happy New Year. And enjoy the first edition of The Lounge Lizard of the new millennium.
Ah, the holiday season, as Americans know it, has come to an end. Remember normality, it is knockin' at the door. Here at The B.K. Lounge we are ready to rehab a little and ease into winter in reality. Our recommendation for this is the Bloody Mary. A very utilitarian cocktail. Bloody Mary is excellent with breakfast or as a night cap. And if you get dragged to a fitness convention, you can pour it into a fruit juice sport bottle and pass for giving a damn. Here we go.
2 oz Vodka
1/2 tsp. Horse
Pour the Vodka, V8 juice, Tabasco Sauce, Horse Radish and Celery Salt into a glass. Squeeze the lime wedge into glass and toss in the rind. Add ice stir and let the recovery begin.
Three Ale's Please
A gentleman walks into a pub and requests three ale's. The bartender pours him the ale and realizes he is alone. As he hands him the last beer the bartender kindly reminds him that he may order his ale one at a time.
The gentleman responds by telling the bartender that he has a brother in the Australia and a brother in Canada. And every time he has a drink he buys three out of respect for his brothers.
The bartender smiles and the gentleman sits at a table and drinks his ale's.
The gentleman comes into the pub for several months, daily. Every time the bartender pours him three ale's and the man sits at a table and drinks quietly by himself.
One afternoon the gentleman comes in and only orders two ale's. The bartender pours the ale's and the gentleman sits at a table. The bartender, figuring that the gentleman had lost a brother, approaches the the table.
Excuse me sir. I do not mean to pry into your business but for months you have ordered three ale's. Well seeing that today you have only ordered two I would like to extend my condolences for your deceased brother.
The gentleman at the table looked back at the bartender and says, I appreciate your sympathy but my brothers are fine. I only ordered two ale's because I have decided to quit drinking.
"If you strap hot buttered toast onto a cats back, buttered side up and spin him in the air, does the toast land buttered side down or does the cat land on his feet?"
the Gene Pool: January's
favorite Darwin Award
One day, Larry went to the local Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons and several tanks of helium. The weather balloons, when fully inflated, would measure more than four feet across. Back home, Larry securely strapped the balloons to his sturdy lawn chair. He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the balloons with the helium. He climbed on for a test while it was still only a few feet above the ground. Satisfied it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches and a six- pack of Miller Lite, loaded his pellet gun-- figuring he could pop a few balloons when it was time to descend-- and went back to the floating lawn chair.
When he cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't float lazily up to 30 or so feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon. He found himself drifting into the primary approach corridor of Los Angeles International Airport. A United pilot first spotted Larry. He radioed the tower and described passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. A helicopter was dispatched to investigate.
Once the crew determined that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in for a rescue but the draft from the blades would push Larry away whenever they neared. Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred feet above Larry and lowered a rescue line. As soon as Larry was hauled to earth, he was arrested by waiting members of the LAPD for violating LAX airspace. As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue asked why he had done it. Larry stopped, turned and replied nonchalantly, "A man can't just sit around."
With A Video:
Did You Know?
Today this use of onions would be considered birth control.
The dedicated scientists at The B.K. Lounge Laboratory have found it would take a shitload of milk to consume this many OREOS.
"Jingle Bells," a popular Christmas song, was actually written for Thanksgiving. The song was composed in 1857, by James Pierpont, and was originally called "One Horse Open Sleigh".
Nine out of ten 4 year olds think the song goes "One Horse Soap and Sleigh".
SYMPTOM: Feet cold
SYMPTOM: Feet warm
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually
pale and tasteless.
wall covered with fluorescent lights.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless,
front of your shirt is wet.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly
takes on colorful aspect and textures.
looks up to you and smiles.
SYMPTOM: Don't recognize
SYMPTOM: Don't remember
the words to the song.
"Politics is not a bad
profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself
you can always write a book."
And if you find
yourself in need of a gift to help get your butt out of a sling because
of something you said or did based on your visit to Liqour.com. Visit
"Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society."
|Lounge Chow: Meat Loaf|
If you keep up with breaking news from The B.K. Lounge Laboratory, you are familiar with the extensive research done with old bread. Meat loaf is another use for old bread. I never liked meat loaf as a kid. But this recipe is really good. Enjoy.
1 beaten egg
In a large bowl mix all the ingredients together.
In a shallow baking dish mold the mixture into a 7x3x2 inch loaf. Or go crazy and mold it into a face or a house or a hand. What ever you want, it is your loaf.
Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 45 to 50 minutes. Until no pink remains. Spoon The B.K. Lounge B-B-Q sauce all over it and serve warm.
The B.K. Lounge B-B-Q sauce
We have added this recipe for the meat loaf but it is excelent on hamburgers, ribs and chicken.
2 tablespoons butter
Sauté onion, garlic, red bell pepper over medium heat until onion is clear.
Add everything else and simmer until thick.
In our mision to help the scientists at the B.K. Lounge Laboratory have once again made a suggestion.
The name 'meat loaf' has generated some concern and a couple of jokes. So we are proposing that you call it meat cake, or if you are in the south, meat medley or BBQ surprise. We think they are happier names than meat loaf. You can thank us later.
May there always be work for your hands to do. May your purse always hold a coin or two.
May the sun always shine on your windowpane. May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
the hand of a friend always be near you and may God fill your heart
with gladness to cheer you.
-An Irish Blessing
Jan. 3, 1777
An overnight freeze enabled George Washington and his troops to flank the British at Trenton, cross their lines at Princeton, and seek security in the hills of northern New Jersey. (David Ludlum)
"If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "quit while you're ahead"? - Jack Handy
Of The Month:
I have been at Grateful Dead concerts where this phobia has been very prominent.
Please send us your comments and we will consider them for future newsletter.
If you would like to be removed from this mailing list please send a note to The B.K. Lounge. We will remove you a soon as we get around to it. The B.K. Lounge does not have an automated mailing list and we remove subscribers the old fashion way. So be patient. This is the work of love.