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The Lounge Lizard The B.K. Lounge

Drunk On Christmas, Getting Weighed and

God Bless America!

Dec. 2001

Chilly and windy with the smell of cookies in the air.

Our Pledge:
To maintain the highest standards we are capable of. To publish information that is based on as much fact as we can find. To have fun without offending most of our readers.

Dec. Events:

16th, Eid ul-Fitr

16, Shawwal

22nd, Hanukkah

24th, Christmas

26th, Kwansaa

26th, Boxing Day


Three Wise Men:

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it.

One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar."

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"We are willing enough to praise freedom when she is safely tucked away in the past and cannot be a nuisance. In the present, amidst dangers whose outcome we cannot foresee, we get nervous about her, and admit censorship."

-E. M. Forster (1879 - 1970)

Lounge Cocktail:

This one speaks for itself.

Drunk on Christmas

3 oz Midori melon liqueur
2 oz Irish whiskey (Tullamore Dew)
1 oz Apple schnapps
4 oz Sweet and sour
Ice cubes
Maraschino cherry

Mix and shake Irish whiskey, Midori, and Apple Schnapps with ice. Fill whiskey sour glass with ice. Strain mixture over ice in glass. Fill with sweet and sour. Garnish with several free floating Maraschino cherries

Christmas is here!

A a perfect gift for someone you like.

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On their first date, Joe took Rose to the carnival. When he asked her what she wanted to do first, Rose replied, "Get weighed."

So Joe took her to the man with the scale who guesses people's weight. He looked at Rose and said, "One hundred and twenty pounds." Since Rose weighed in at one seventeen, she collected a prize.

Next they went on the roller coaster. When the ride was finished, Joe asked Rose what she wanted to do next. "Get weighed," she said. So they went back to the man with the scale, who of course guessed Rose's weight correctly. Leaving without a prize, they went for a ride on the merry-go-round.

After they got off, Joe asked Rose what she wanted to do next. "I want to get weighed!" she said again. Joe began to think this girl was quite strange, and decided to end the evening quickly.

He left her at the door with a quick handshake. Rose's roommate was waiting up for her to return and asked how the evening went. "Wousy!" Rose replied.

• • • • • • • •

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. I have a work station...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.

-Steven Wright


The B.K. Lounge Grill: Garlic Potatoes

Lets face it, most loungers will be attending a dinner, not necessarily making a dinner. We thought we could help most by giving you a recipe for a dish you could bring. Below is a good recipe for potatoes. If you bring this along with some egg nog and a bottle of bourbon, chances are you will be invited back.

Seasoned Mashed Potatoes:

6 to 8 quart stock pot
10 large Russet Potatoes, peeled and chopped into bite size pieces
1/2 small onion, diced fine
1/4 tsp. garlic powder (skip the salt if you use garlic salt)
1/2 cup cheese grated (Jack is tasty)
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup butter
1 tsp. salt

Place the chopped potatoes in the pot and fill with water just to an inch over the potatoes. Cover and simmer until the potatoes are easily cut with a fork. Drain the water. Add the rest of the ingredients. Mash with a potato masher or hand mixer until you have the consistency you desire. I like mine a little lumpy. If the potatoes are a little stiff, add a little more milk.



4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 cup powder sugar
1 quart whole milk
1 whole nutmeg

In a large bowl, you need to whisk the eggs and the vanilla, sugar and 1 cup of the milk until well blended. Then whisk in the rest of the milk. Or go down to the grocery and buy some eggnog.

Pour into a short glass adding bourbon at your discretion. Grate a little nutmeg on top and let the games begin.

" Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson's sermons. "


Women from Venus 120x60


Did You Know?

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

Did you know submitted by:
W. Kennedy, Chicago, IL.

""Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and you suck forever."."


Phobia Of The Month:
frigophobia: cold

Welcome to December in Chicago. My name is Satan.

The B.K. Lounge: Cooking with Alcohol

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©Bryan Knox, 2001
Designed and developed at Knox Laboratory

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